Elizabeth SimoneinThe Belladonna ComedyIntroducing Rogaine for Babies©The brand middle-aged dads have trusted for years, now for infants!·3 min read·Apr 26, 2024----
Elizabeth SimoneinThe Belladonna ComedyQuiz: Breastfeeding or Capitalism?Late Night Feeding or Late Stage Bull!@#$?·2 min read·Dec 13, 2023--2--2
Elizabeth SimoneinSlackjawSome Alternate Phrases Men Can Say Instead Of “We’re Pregnant!”“We’re finding it difficult to sleep because my wife has leg cramps, hip pain, and swollen hot feet, and I wake up every time she farts.”·2 min read·Oct 16, 2023--5--5
Elizabeth SimoneinThe Belladonna ComedyWelcome to This Cozy Two-Bedroom Home That Could Be Yours for Over a Million DollarsThis place is really quaint, which is definitely not real-estate-speak for shockingly small considering the price tag.·4 min read·Oct 11, 2023--1--1
Elizabeth SimoneinGreener Pastures MagazineClassic Baby-Making Songs Rewritten for IVFGirl, let’s make a baby using assisted reproductive technology·3 min read·Aug 29, 2023--2--2
Elizabeth SimoneinJane Austen’s WastebasketThe Road Not Taken Because The Whole Thing Triggered My AnxietyTwo Roads Diverged In A Wood, And I– I Was Freaked Out·3 min read·Jul 14, 2023--2--2
Elizabeth SimoneinGreener Pastures MagazineNorfolk Southern CEO, Alan Shaw, Visits The Antiques RoadshowThese tracks date all the way back to the Civil War·3 min read·Feb 28, 2023--1--1
Elizabeth SimoneinThe Belladonna ComedyI’m Mary Hatch And It Is A Wonderful Life, Unless, Like Me You Are An Old Maid LibrarianI’m a childless spinster with nothing to show for myself except a respected career.·4 min read·Dec 23, 2022--6--6
Elizabeth SimoneinSlackjawThe Dating Profile Of A Person Who Says Someone “Must Love Dogs” To Date ThemIf you’re not down with the bow-wow-wow, you’ll never be my beau·3 min read·Nov 29, 2022----
Elizabeth SimoneinThe Belladonna ComedyHow To Tell If You’re At A High Holidays Service Or If You’re Just HighIf you’re jonesing for some apples, honey and Challah bread, you’re at a High Holidays service. If you’re jonesing for some stale croutons…·3 min read·Sep 23, 2022--5--5