Medium

Elizabeth Simone

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jun 19

All the Knicks T-Shirts Taylor Swift and the Haim Sisters Rejected

Knickolas Knickleby

All the Knicks T-Shirts Taylor Swift and the Haim Sisters Rejected

In

Slackjaw

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jun 15

Guidelines For The New Return To Office Policy

Paid Time Off (PTO) will henceforth be converted to Paid Time In (PTI) and all vacations will be staycations in the office.

Guidelines For The New Return To Office Policy

In

Slackjaw

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Apr 21

As A Dog Mom, I Completely Relate To Everyone At This Parent Support Group

We are basically going through the exact same thing.

As A Dog Mom, I Completely Relate To Everyone At This Parent Support Group

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jan 15

Quiz: A Backpacking Trip or Parenting Small Children?

It involves a lot of carrying and heavy lifting.

Quiz: A Backpacking Trip or Parenting Small Children?

In

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Nov 20, 2025

The Runaway Bunny Becomes A Teenager But Her Mom Still Has Terrible Boundaries

Once there was a little bunny who wanted her mom to not be all up in her fur

The Runaway Bunny Becomes A Teenager But Her Mom Still Has Terrible Boundaries

In

Slackjaw

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Feb 21, 2025

How My Parents Imagine My Parenting Choices Vs. How I Remember Theirs

My parents imagine our apartment walls are padded like an insane asylum.

How My Parents Imagine My Parenting Choices Vs. How I Remember Theirs

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jan 17, 2025

Severance or A Visit Home To Your Parents?

They have stuff on VHS

Severance or A Visit Home To Your Parents?

In

Slackjaw

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Oct 20, 2024

A Michelin Star Menu Of Stuff That I, The Parent Of A Toddler, Have Sadly Eaten

Mélange of tortilla chips and sand-encrusted Cheerios hand-harvested from the depths of the diaper bag

A Michelin Star Menu Of Stuff That I, The Parent Of A Toddler, Have Sadly Eaten

In

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jul 11, 2024

BetterHelp Ads If They Were Honest About How Crappy It Is To Be A BetterHelp Therapist

Get 10% off your first month with promo code: NO PAID BENEFITS

BetterHelp Ads If They Were Honest About How Crappy It Is To Be A BetterHelp Therapist

In

Frazzled

by

Elizabeth Simone

·

Jun 5, 2024

Quiz: Your Baby or Your Schoolyard Bully?

Find out who’s taunting you!

A baby sitting on a mom’s shoulders, gripping her head with a happy expression. The adult appears to be grimacing and struggling.

Elizabeth Simone

Elizabeth Simone

Words in McSweeney’s, The Belladonna, Points In Case, The Weekly Humorist, Greener Pastures, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy. IG: @comic__diary

Following

Help

Status

About

Careers

Press

Blog

Store

Privacy

Rules

Terms

Text to speech